OPEN POST • ALL-PURPOSE TEXTING MEME

[notanybunny]

for your TFLNs, overflows and general texting shenanigans

Comments

1

[vaderfan]

You do realize I was trying to ignore them.

[soloflight]

I know, but this you have to hear.

They think you’re Allana’s real father.

[vaderfan]

[See because this gossip breakfast isn't happening in person, Jace just missed Ben Solo, personal bodyguard to a certain extremely spoiled Hapan princess and kind of also her mother, literally spit his space fantasy coffee equivalent all over his space fantasy phone equivalent holonet device.

Jace is also missing that fumbling moment where Ben is trying to discern if little bro is actually mad or not.]

Clearly they haven't heard the princess tell a joke.

[soloflight]

[ Shame. But Jace is pretty sure Rey's droid would've captured it on video anyway; he'll have to ask her later.

Hopefully Ben didn't spill too much of his coffee because poor space fantasy Starbucks baristas if they have to do his complicated order all over again. ]

Ha ha as if that's going to settle it.
It's not like your jokes are any better.

[vaderfan]

[She'll probably offer him footage before he has the chance to ask, let's be real.

The poor, beleaguered baristas.]

No, I don't tell jokes. I may not be able to change the fact that I was born a Solo but I choose not to inflict that horror upon the galaxy.

[soloflight]

[ And then they’ll turn it into the space fantasy meme equivalent. ]

Wow, you speak of unleashing horror upon the galaxy as if you’ve never done it before.

Anyway
Today’s gossip also includes accusations of you trying to integrate the First Order into the Consortium by fathering the heir to the Hapan throne.
Nothing new, only that they’ve never said that out loud before.

[vaderfan]

[The Solos, a family of shit posters.]

I'm not taking that bait either.

Yes, Jace, you've uncovered my secret plan.
I think it's time Allana had a sibling.
Brb nailing your wife.

[soloflight]

[ Okay, that’s too funny. Jace is literally laughing out loud and taking a screenshot of the convo to send to Rey. Because THE BEN JOKES. It’s newsworthy.

You really can’t blame the space fantasy tabloids for suspecting the brothers are sharing their women or something. ]

Yeah, sure, bro.
Tell me all about it later.
Gotta run, have to aggressively cuddle your boo.

[ What? Of course he’s got to tease big brother back. ]

[vaderfan]

I'll flay you alive.

[Wait, he's supposed to have a sense of humor when roles are reversed? Sounds fake.]

[soloflight]

We are in a pillow fort guarded by porgs.
You can't touch me.

[ Now he's just trolling you. #sorrynotsorry ]

[vaderfan]

Watch me.

[soloflight]

C'mon, bro, be a good sport.
You started this.

[vaderfan]

YOU started this. I told you I was trying to ignore it.

[soloflight]

I was actually serious about this when we started.

I know you can take care of yourself, but... just watch your back, okay?

[vaderfan]

"And try not to murder the paparazzi," I'm sure.

[soloflight]

[ Eyerolling at you so hard right now bro. ]

Who cares about the paparazzi?

Ben. I’m serious here.
The Hapans who actually believe this nonsense will be after your head.
I’m just the consort. You’re the next queen’s father.

[vaderfan]

I'm NOT her father.

[soloflight]

Some people believe everything they find on the HoloNet.

Hapan politics is vicious, just saying.
Tenel Ka’s dad became heir to the throne because his older brother was assassinated.
Under their mother’s orders.

I know you can take on anyone in a fight. But all the same, be careful.

[vaderfan]

Jace, I'm her and Allana's personal bodyguard.
It's not like I don't already have a target on my back.
This baseless gossip isn't going to be a significant change to that.

[soloflight]

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

[ Look he just cares about you Ben okay. ]

[vaderfan]

I'll be fine.
We'll all be fine.

[He gets that. It's just expressing that he gets that that's the problem.]