OPEN POST • ALL-PURPOSE TEXTING MEME

[notanybunny]

for your TFLNs, overflows and general texting shenanigans

Comments

Jacen Solo • Star Wars (Legends/AU)

[soloflight]

1. Guess what the tabloids are saying this morning?

2. Wanna hear a joke?

3. No, you go first.

4. Just roll over and play dead.
Works like a charm. Every time.

5. [ text him! ]

Allana Solo • Star Wars (AU)

[thejediqueen]

1. oh yeah???
thats what you think

2. you dont wanna do this
trust me

3. i eat gossip and death threats for breakfast

4. YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG SOLO
REEF FORTRESS, SUNRISE TOMORROW
ITLL BE YOUR LAST!!!

5. [ text her! ]

Jane Solo • Star Wars (AU)

[forceshadowed]

1. do you believe in love at first sight or should i pass by again?

2. can you take me to the doctor?
because i just broke my leg falling for you 🙊

3. please, no
date anyone but ben
i’m telling you this because you’re my friend!!
ABORT MISSION
ABORT ABORT

4. yeah, i know i’m attractive
but my brother is kylo ren so

5. [ text her! ]

1

[vaderfan]

You do realize I was trying to ignore them.

3

[spitofhope]

It's not dating, exactly.

3

[vaderfan]

I's still not helping you defy your curfew.

[soloflight]

I know, but this you have to hear.

They think you’re Allana’s real father.

[vaderfan]

[See because this gossip breakfast isn't happening in person, Jace just missed Ben Solo, personal bodyguard to a certain extremely spoiled Hapan princess and kind of also her mother, literally spit his space fantasy coffee equivalent all over his space fantasy phone equivalent holonet device.

Jace is also missing that fumbling moment where Ben is trying to discern if little bro is actually mad or not.]

Clearly they haven't heard the princess tell a joke.

2

[starmettle]

Sure, I'll bite.

[soloflight]

[ Shame. But Jace is pretty sure Rey's droid would've captured it on video anyway; he'll have to ask her later.

Hopefully Ben didn't spill too much of his coffee because poor space fantasy Starbucks baristas if they have to do his complicated order all over again. ]

Ha ha as if that's going to settle it.
It's not like your jokes are any better.

[vaderfan]

[She'll probably offer him footage before he has the chance to ask, let's be real.

The poor, beleaguered baristas.]

No, I don't tell jokes. I may not be able to change the fact that I was born a Solo but I choose not to inflict that horror upon the galaxy.

[thejediqueen]

but uncle ben
look
technically it never gets dark here
NEVER
so we can be “home before dark”
and curfew doesnt really apply??

[forceshadowed]

really
so what
you’re just making googly eyes at each other?

this is so weird

[soloflight]

Okay.

Why did they not like the restaurant on the moon?

[soloflight]

[ And then they’ll turn it into the space fantasy meme equivalent. ]

Wow, you speak of unleashing horror upon the galaxy as if you’ve never done it before.

Anyway
Today’s gossip also includes accusations of you trying to integrate the First Order into the Consortium by fathering the heir to the Hapan throne.
Nothing new, only that they’ve never said that out loud before.

[vaderfan]

[The Solos, a family of shit posters.]

I'm not taking that bait either.

Yes, Jace, you've uncovered my secret plan.
I think it's time Allana had a sibling.
Brb nailing your wife.

[vaderfan]

If your mother hadn't given me an exact time.

[soloflight]

[ Okay, that’s too funny. Jace is literally laughing out loud and taking a screenshot of the convo to send to Rey. Because THE BEN JOKES. It’s newsworthy.

You really can’t blame the space fantasy tabloids for suspecting the brothers are sharing their women or something. ]

Yeah, sure, bro.
Tell me all about it later.
Gotta run, have to aggressively cuddle your boo.

[ What? Of course he’s got to tease big brother back. ]

[thejediqueen]

[ Cue mock sad look. ]

but uncle ben
i waited all month to watch a porg egg hatch
its going to be so precious
have you no heart??

[ Translation: my secret boyfriend is late for our meetup and I’ve not seen him all month.

Not that Ben would know that’s what it really means? Or does he? Will there be murder? ]

3

[spitofhope]

Out with it. I haven't got all day to hang on your every word, you know.

[spitofhope]

Who said I was making googly eyes?

[Hang on.]

What does that even mean anyway?

[vaderfan]

I'll flay you alive.

[Wait, he's supposed to have a sense of humor when roles are reversed? Sounds fake.]

[vaderfan]

There's probably a porg nest in your actual room. Not buying it.

[He's suspicious to be honest.]

[starmettle]

I don't know. Why?

[soloflight]

We are in a pillow fort guarded by porgs.
You can't touch me.

[ Now he's just trolling you. #sorrynotsorry ]